2010: A year rich with possibilities, potential, and dreams. The transition from one year to the next always gives us the courage to readdress desires we have forgotten or put aside throughout the year.
What dreams or goals have you forgotten?
Many of my clients say that for them, it’s their financials — understanding them and devising a plan for themselves and their families. For some dreary reason, finances tend to intimidate and paralyze. Our mind wants to do what is right with our money, but the minute we take a step in that direction, vicious monsters leap out from hiding and terrify us into inaction. Screaming, we turn and run in the other direction, back to our safe spot of waiting and procrastinating, hoping that one day we’ll have the courage to face them once again.
Isn’t it ironic that the moment we try to learn what the world of finance encompasses, the very experts we believe can teach us end up being the monsters who cause us to run away? How many times have we turned on The Suze Orman Show or Mad Money on CNBC only to be bombarded by big, intimidating words that scamper toward us, beat us to a pulp, then run on their merry way, laughing hysterically that they have exerted such power over us? Devastation sets in as we realize that even the people and programs that advertise themselves as being able to help have somehow aided in the fear and paralysis. We wonder if we’ll ever be able to tackle this monster called finance.
Yes, yes, and yes! Of course we will! We just need to start looking in areas that don’t harbor monsters.
Back to basics: The duty of a financial representative is to sit down with you, one person, one family, one business at a time, and listen. Yes, listen. It is my heart’s desire to hear you, to understand you, and to encourage you. In my experience, it’s typically your desire to share your hopes, dreams, and ideals of what you want out of life and to ask, “Can I do this? Is it possible? And if so, what will it take?”
Financial representatives listen, understand, and then devise a plan that puts you as the captain and us as first mate. We help explain the necessary steps, identify when each action is appropriate, and suggest changes as different variables pop up (marriage, children, new homes and jobs, etc.). And then, we educate. We take the ugly, unidentifiable worlds of stocks, bonds, mutual funds, annuities, and insurance and strip them of their monstrous qualities: the scary scales of intimidation, the ugly horns of arrogance, the sharp claws of deception, and fiery breath of “do it now or else!” If we're good, we replace the scary parts – intimidation with understanding; arrogance with definitions and knowledge; deception with context, appropriateness and timing; and “do it now or else” with a single goal: “what do you believe are your first steps to protecting and providing for your family and your future?”
The worst aggressor is the intolerable Dragon of Shame. The dragon is typically birthed through fear, lack of understanding, or a deep-seated lack of confidence. The Dragon of Shame seems to pierce and shred any inkling of hope that we can one day fix whatever we may have done wrong that prevents us from moving toward our goals.
But should we blame ourselves?
“No!” Emphatically, passionately, “NO!” In today’s flourishing economy of college graduates, did you know a finance course is not required for a bachelor’s degree, even for business majors? Yet society expects us to have a basic understanding of the financial world. If we dare raise our hand to ask a question, we feel scorned and mocked.
Have you ever met with a financial representative and had the feeling of wearing a sign on your forehead that reads: “Help me! I have no idea about anything related to the financial world and I am a willing victim for you to walk all over and take advantage of.” Oh, the humiliation and angst! You are not alone, my friend.
Shame can be conquered with knowledge, intelligence, wisdom, readiness, and, most important, belief in ourselves. Above all, it is imperative that we hold our heads high and trust that we have everything we need to be able to perceive the financial world. It is a financial representative’s job to explain the options, the pros and cons, and the appropriate timing and purpose of each vehicle. It is your job to make a decision about what you want to put in place and feel good about that decision, trusting yourself. You have the control, the power. You can do this. It’s not hard: Little by little we will slay our insecurities, bit by bit we will build our courage, experience, understanding, and knowledge of what we can do with our finances and for our future.
In the meantime, here are three good first steps:
1. Know where you are headed: Ask yourself where you would like to be,
personally, professionally, and financially. No one knows your personal goals better than you, so before a financial representative can walk with you on your journey, be clear about where you want to go.
2. Identify your fears and concerns. Remember, when it comes to finance, words such as silly and stupid do not exist. You can’t learn this world overnight, so being gracious with yourself is a must.
3. Find a financial representative: Ask people whom you trust if they are working with anyone they respect and feel comfortable with. The best introduction is based on personal experience. If you are still uncertain, obtain two or three names of financial representatives and meet with each one for a cup of coffee. The most important aspect in the whole process is that you believe the financial representative is on your side, has your best interest in mind, and is willing to walk with you for the next 20 or 30 years. Your financial representative must have the passion to love helping others, educating, equipping, and empowering clients to feel good about their financial future.
This is it! Here and now. There is no perfect day to start saving, there is no perfect day to start planning. Excuses are baby monsters on steroids; they will always be there, swarming, nagging, and baiting you into believing the financial world is over your head. IT’S NOT TRUE! It’s time to end the cycle of self-imposed defeat, take up your sword, and step forward. Boldly, cowardly, it’s okay. Just step. Step toward your future — today.
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