MY ONE DAY AS A Redhead AND A Blonde
Wigs: Yeoni Szymanski, Wigs Today
Make up: Michael Moore, Simply Moore
Stylist: Kari Kisch
Remember Fiddler on the Roof, and how Tevye, the hardworking milkman with five daughters, sings:
If I were a rich man
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I’d biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
The song makes me think about my own fantasies, not of great wealth but of trying on a new look. In reality, I’m a satisfied brunette, but imagine this tune:
If I were a redhead.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a blonde.
All day long I’d biddy biddy bum.
If I were a redhead or a blonde.
So the writer in me set out to do just that. Call it an experiment in identity. I imagine most of us harbor dreams of recasting our lives, whether on a deeper, spiritual level or for change alone.
I have vivid memories of being a chunky, freckle-faced 11-year-old with a very bad Dorothy Hamill haircut. In the privacy of my grapefruit yellow room, I’d dance, or rather prance, with navy tights on top of my head, pretending I was a famous model with famous long hair. Six inches from the mirror, I’d pinch my cheeks red, wet my lips until a bubble of drool appeared, and kick one leg high in the air, gesturing with mock flamboyance “I’m Juliet Prowse and my legs are my fortune.”
Remember those L’eggs commercials? (At last glance, you can still buy a print ad on eBay for only $7.99.)
Looking back, I’ve always been fascinated with transforming myself (and others) through hair. Once, while reading Seventeen magazine, I shaved my hairline trying to follow instructions for do-it-yourself wisps. The blood dried, but the mistake left a strange gap of fuzz for years. Another time, I used Jolene bleach (for facial hair) to create my own highlights. Let’s just say they were a little neon orange. I cut hair in college one time for my then-boyfriend’s fraternity brothers. Hard to believe they actually paid me. Still another time, a bald Argentine hairdresser in New York City turned my hair eggplant.
The years in between have seen me with a panoply of styles and color, from a long, shapeless, brassy mane to an ear-skimming mahogany shag by Meg Ryan’s hairdresser Sally Hershberger. (She was trying to remake me as an Angie Harmon look-alike for a magazine, but hours of color and makeup fell woefully short.)
Occasionally, I still experiment. A few months ago, while trying to disguise splatches of gray, I darkened my hair such that my son’s eight-year-old friend said, “What happened to you?”
But for the most part, I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt this content about my image – even my crow’s feet and, dare I admit, the occasional stray facial hair. So what if my roots need a touch-up every five weeks? As a woman in my 40s who’s had a whole lot of life experience, finally, finally I see the lightness and grace in being just how and where I am.
Which is why I wanted to have some fun acting out those long-held fantasies of being a blonde and a redhead. Specifically, I wanted to know, “How might the world look different?”
I’m not sure that one day as a blonde and a redhead brought me all the answers to this question, but yes, life felt a little different even if I felt a little “wiggy.” Naturally, I was not going to dye my hair for this experiment!
Thanks to the team who helped me — Yeoni Szymanski of Wigs Today, makeup artist Michael Moore and stylist Kari Kisch — we pulled it off.
Even grown-ups get to pretend once in a while ...
Redhead Lust
What I did: I strutted around Cherry Creek and went lingerie shopping at SOL. No one recognized me.
How I felt: Foxy, fiery, ridiculous.
Most important moment: Chatting up Gerard Montoya, an inspector for the City and County of Denver. Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: Hi, Gerard. Thanks for taking the time to answer a few questions.
Gerard: Sure. So what are you doing?
Me: I’m posing as a redhead. Do you like the way I look?
Gerard: Not at all.
Me: Really? Why?
Gerard: You don’t look real, your eyebrows are dark, and you’re wearing a wig.
Me: Well, thanks for your honesty.
Gerard: Sure. Life is all about choices.
How others treated me: Humorously. The wig gave me a conehead.
The redhead I’d most want to look like: Julianne Moore
My favorite redhead: Lucille Ball
Why I like redheads: They’re exotic. Generally, 1 percent to 2 percent of the human population has red hair, with greatest frequency — 2 percent to 6 percent — in Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and England.
Best redhead lore: If you pass three redheads in Poland, you’ll win the state lottery.
What I really wanted to do as a redhead: Play Ginger on Gilligan’s Island.
Blonde Power
What I did: Strutted around Cherry Creek some more, visited North (the restaurant), and then dined at Second Home in the J.W. Marriott.
How I felt: Clean, light, flirty.
Most important moment: Meeting Glenn and his colleague at Second Home’s bar. They were a little awestruck by the camera and lights.
I imagined myself a diplomat.
Glenn: Hi there.
Me: A pleasure to see you.
Glenn: You look lovely.
Me: Why, thank you.
Glenn: So what exactly are you doing?
How others treated me: Like a spectacle. People turned their heads.
The blonde I want to sing like: Christina Aguilera
The blonde I wish I had met: Princess Diana
Why I like blondes: They have an ethereal quality.
Best blonde lore: A study by experts in Germany suggests people with blond hair are an endangered species and will become extinct by 2202.
What I really wanted to do as a blonde: Surprise my husband at his office and then walk the runway in Milan.
Kari Kisch, freelance stylist, dishes on hot color fashion trends for summer.
General for summer
Nautical influence (bold stripes, navy)
Layered chains, inclusive of jewels and pearls... soft play on Chanel’s influence
Feminine French-inspired blouses, accessories, and flowing skirts/pants.
Yellow is one of the biggest colors for spring and summer.
Blondes
Buttercup yellow
Soft turquoise blues
Wedgwood blues
All pinks from bold to soft
Watermelon and soft coral
Redheads
Midtone blues
Whisper/blush pink
Soft tangerine
Teal
Violet
Brunettes
Coral-based red
Turquoise
Spring green (soft green with a hint of yellow)
Amparo blue (bright soft blue)
Coral
Contact Kari at
karimakisch@msn.com or
720-233-5652
Michael Moore of Simply Moore reveals your best
color palette
color palette
Blondes
Eyes: Plum, brown, some gray
Cheeks: The skin tone is usually softer. Think pinks and corals. Blush should always look like it’s coming out of the skin.
Lips: Mauves, pinks, corals, pinky browns
Redheads
A true redhead can wear anything!
Eyes: Greens, auburns, cedar woods, gold, browns, plums
Cheeks: Apricots, plums, soft brick tones
Lips: Orange, reds, cabernets, cinnamons, plums
Brunettes
Eyes: Browns, grays, cocoas, heather tones
Cheeks: Plum, pink, corals, reds
Lips: Nude pinks, brown pinks, deep reds, plum, warm browns
Says Michael: “I believe every face has Diana Ross and the Supremes on it. I see the eyes as Diana Ross, and the lips and cheeks as the Supremes. Like Diana, sometimes eyes can stand alone and need little help from the cheeks and lips to look in harmony. Other times, Diana needs her Supremes — on occasion they’re the strongest part of a song. But, no matter what, the Supremes always make Diana look fabulous. In the case of makeup, the cheeks and lips should always work to make the eyes the main attraction and never steal the show.”
Contact Michael Moore via
www.simply-moore.com or
303-399-4151.